I always think…

I always think
I should be more.

What is that
what is more
what is better?

They’re all thoughts
that change
from one thought to another
from one brain
out and in.

Within a minute
it’s different
because brains
are articulating
crunching the data
trying to think.

Each thought
I feel less
less like it matters
because I cannot fail
because failing is a mentality
and success is seconds in
and seconds thrown out.

In this place
in which screens
are between us
it’s easier to project an image
rather than be it
and I will not fake it
because I am not.

I just do
it isn’t quite
as good as the rest
and then I struggle
because I wonder what is best
does it exist?

Is best
having a thousand eyes reached
does it involve a bank account?
Because zeroes are often what I see
in the negative I am
so I just keep being
existing as I am.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina