I don’t want

I don’t want
a great big house
a great big place
I don’t want.

I don’t want to earn your pay
I don’t want to listen to your rules
I don’t want to pretend to be free
yet confined by your wants
because you need the big house
the staff to direct
the floors you never sweep
the meals you never cook
the lawn you never mow
we’re enslaved by your wants.
as you speak as if nobody wants to work.

I don’t want to serve you
I don’t want to clean up for you
I don’t want to wash your sins
I don’t want to cover your bruises
I don’t want my needs
to be defined by your wants
as I service the floor
for a pay
that doesn’t cover needs
because your wants
out service us all
is that really economics?

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Shark.

In the water you are
capable you are not
the red in you
mixes with the water out
as your body quivers
the coldness is everywhere
and the hopeless thought
begins to be replaced
with the person in you
that is of a cruel thought
longing for the shark
to tare you
to rip the limbs
to eat on your flesh
because the coldness of the water
the loneliness that it feels
awaiting death
smothers the survival instinct
and even though your skin is tough
the shark bites
loosing a tooth
replacing it
swimming up
you survived it once
and it’s back
and you want to quit
you want to succumb to death
yet you know that death
is nothing if life
isn’t a struggle
so you swim faster
in search of the island
in which is your strength.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

This brain of mine

My mind is living
tucked within it’s skull shell
using the ears of my body to listen
and the mouth upon my face to speak.

It feels safe and secure
till the claustrophobia creeps up
and it realizes
the jail it lives within
only escape isn’t an option
it cannot live apart
from this human body.

My mind is living
it is thinking
it is taking in
it is hurting
trying to understand
each point of view
reading the history books
it is hurting
it is confused
confined within this human form it lives within.

It is overloaded
over stimulated
it is exhausted
this brain of mine
it is puttering
trying to keep awake
it stops
a few sparks
it ignites
it hears
it absorbs
it tries to deflect
because it hurts
all these opinions
it must separate from fact
it hurts.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Indebted within gratitude.

I am grateful
to be alive
I am thankful
to what I have
and even so
I know what there is
and what there isn’t.

All these sayings
all these phrases
all these quotes
to remind you
to be happy
to be thankful
to love
to give
to respect
to not be selfish
it’s as if
we’re raised
to be ashamed to feel
our anger
our frustration
and our natural selfishness.

If I died tomorrow
you’ll keep living
the difference in the world would be null
although if I’m dead
I’m no longer
which means to myself
I am the center
without me
I do not exist
the same as to you
if you died
you’d no longer exist
yet we’re led to believe
that our existence
should be indebted within gratitude
which I often wonder where is theirs?

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

I can’t leave the tape.

All this death
murder, bullshit
and nothing ever changes
it just gets covered over
slightly altered
we just tape up the losses
word it differently
place more laws
justifying our differences
and the only thing different
are the outer appearances.

All this death
all this hate
all this love
amounts to nothing
because we just keep taping it up
the clearer the better
so we can see it still
and yet we cannot.

Being berated by the political
as if a vote counts
if I’m voting for a human
I cannot trust it
anymore than myself
because these brains of ours
they’re never lacking in bias
never seeing it all
always hiding parts of the info
because all of it is difficult.

If we accepted it
we’d do nothing
but leak of tears
shaking at the thoughts
shaking at the power
because power is taking
and taking is the rights of another
and I can’t leave the tape.

I won’t fill the holes
I want to tare them open
I want to talk about it
I want to know it
I want to hear it
I want to remember
I can’t fix it
I can’t erase it
although I can keep from repeating
I don’t want to be the monster
that is this skin
because it is only skin
that wraps around bone
and it is nothing
because all our brains
are pink and squishy.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Expectations

Expectations
aren’t always fitting
in my mind I see it as if pieces
and as I pick apart my brain
I arrange the squishy pink parts
across the table
unable to match it up
the scissors weren’t sharp enough
the memories didn’t ink properly
with blotches
and missed pieces
with little coloring at all
and others filled of words
with missing letters
lack of punctuation
exclamations that died out
question marks that toppled over
because the answers
lost interest
and nothing lived up
to what I wanted
because all the pages
I had filled
with a longing
to be a spectacular author
and the reality
is just
that pinky squishy part
cannot live up
to the expectations
I put upon it.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Creating till it isn’t.

I can’t be anything
because it’s all filth
and filth I clean.

The mold spurs
I scrub
and I spray
and I make it disappear
so I can be nothing
because I’d clean it
I’d rip it up
wipe it with a rag
burn it off
and forget it
till it grows again.

Again I’ll clean it
because it’s all filth
and its all been thought
and re-thought
and re-made
because this system of economics
has devalued creativity
and created a system of remakes
of revamps
that we shit
and flush down
again and again.

It isn’t about new
it is about content
that is safe
although shit contains germs
and germs ransack us
destroying our bodies
and killing us early
and yet we eat each others shit
and applaud
for I’ll dissolve
again and again
creating till it isn’t
a spur that needs to be washed
and cleansed.

Thanks for reading.
Temperamentally Tina


My brain reacts.

My brain reacts
it feels threatened by thoughts
and I question
do you feel that way to
is that why we humans
separate, attack , defend?

We’re often searching
for a correct life
as if the internet
could give us that
it could give us opinions
that don’t equate to facts
scenarios that played
and will play
but it cannot define
an entire collective of humans.

We are just animals
with the know
in which we know we think
and with that
we’re left with the construct of morals
in which
there is no winning
because it’s subjective
right/wrong
it’s not.

Standing on the right of the street
or sprinting towards the left
it’s just taking a foot
and walking all over
in between the roads
ripping up the gravel and the cement
letting the grass turn yellow
because it will do
what is natural
and we ourselves
shall just allow it
or not.

We just keep forcing the bodies
to stick to what they are
to an outdated construct
although any route is going to be that of death
so just do it
as long as you’re not cutting short another
just find death as you
and others to find death as them
all live the life that is.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Feeding the ground.

All the burdens
of keeping at it
of cleaning it up
of having enough
even if that’s speculation
and not fact
it creeps in
wrapping the cords
of this structure
around
our wrists
our necks
our chests
our legs
as we twist
we try to scream
your ears hearing the screams
my ears taking it in
and our brains blocking it
because it’s real
and it isn’t
tangible it is
I can hold the living world
these material things
but beneath my feet they break
they become piles of rubbish
we sort through
and I’m here to say sorry
that I shall try
to keep the words kind
and be that of passion
rather than a body of turmoil
although I feel pain
that is nothing but metaphorical
words they designate inside of me
and I can’t always block out
just reason I suppose
I try
I fail
and I say I’m sorry
I’ll try to be that of compassion
rather than a body of turmoil
feeding the ground
with that of hate tinged flesh.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Falling into the sun.

Out the door
there is open space
if feels endless
it isn’t
I can’t see it all at once
all directions
this Earth is round
it holds us all
till it doesn’t.

It orbits
within a system
held by?
it isn’t
the Earth is falling
into the sun
it misses
till it doesn’t.

Then we
then us
then money
then values
then morals
then self worth
then all of this
is nothing
but the ashes
that disperse
into everything else.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina