To be numb to feeling?

I know sometimes people feel numb
to feeling
to thinking
they just can’t
as if their minds are on ice
and the coldness is hardening their thoughts
that can’t be chiseled out.

I’m not numb to feeling
I feel it
I think it
I don’t always want
I don’t want to socialize
I try to stay inside
and when people speak back
I turn
because feeling it
can be overwhelming
trying to understand all point of view
the rights
the wrongs
and never being able to agree
or disagree
because right isn’t factual
not in the complexity of all the thoughts
I just want to be numb.

Slice open my skull
take out my brain
place it upon a block of ice
till it numbs
the throbbing stops
the thinking stops
then please return it
letting it warm
within my skull
and as it melts
maybe it’ll feel a little less?

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

It fixes nothing.

Charity fixes nothing
if it did
then we wouldn’t be so broken
we wouldn’t have homeless
and the higher bits
making the middle
pick up the scraps from the tables
and emptying change
from their pockets.

Which does nothing
solves nothing
because it changes nothing
the gesture cements the system
reapplying to the cracks
that keep opening
every winter
the salts eat the roads
and the pavement
covered red
by the bodies slept upon it
continues.

Volunteer
it’s implied
do it
be a good Samaritan
do it for free.

Do you work for free
in that giant home?
No you work for nothing
and get paid interest
and wonder why
we’re all so damn lazy
it’s fair to you
of course
fancy dinners
fancy events
donate hundreds of thousands
at an event
that costs how much?
You solved what again?
You invested in what?
You made how much?

The rest of us
are fortunate to make
$40,000 take home
working 40 hour weeks
because that insurance
for in case we get sick
must be invested
in fattening your greedy bits up
so your welcome again
and thank you
for taking the largest share
of all our resources
for yourself
because why wouldn’t we all
want that for you?

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Slip from the rules.

Could we just not
do whatever we’re doing right now
whatever we’ve done in the past
could we just do something new
does it exist still
that concept of new
so many ideas written
so many rules placed
can I scratch them out
is it possible
to slip from the rules
and create something new
I feel a sense of jealousy
to those before
being able to set their parameters
to create the concepts
I feel angry for all
because they live in it
they follow it
they try
but we’re always just repeating
feeling we need to improve in it
why do we
I write and call it poetry
it’s just a bunch of thoughts strung together
which is poetry?
whatever it is
I just want to break it
to not follow every rule
every thought
and then I die within the cliques
because this mind
it’s heard it
it’s read it
it’s trying to surpass it
but it’s getting stuck in it
I hate it.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

As my body lays on the ice.

I feel a bit weak
several days a weak
and my feet stumble
as my entire body takes a tumble
and I feel a sense of death
although I can see my breath
as my body lays on the ice
later I place my appendage in rice
hearing the vibration
as it exits hibernation
I search for the truths
that I always see through
because the webs are filled of opinions
claiming that of sins
actions that aren’t wholesome
and I’m curious where their notions are from?

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Blending at all times.

Life is a consistency of mistakes
a finger on the button
it is blending at all times
as life is dying
it’s joining in and mixing again
changing through chemistry
can I set that goo on fire
renew it
write it with red
owning the mistakes
knowing the past
allowing myself to do more
and do less
ingesting the fluid
that’ll change the thoughts
and the ones I want to stay
will expel the poison
through the pores
as I sit tranquil upon the ground
awaiting the relief
and redoing
with change.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Thinking

Thinking
if it is easy
it seems as if it is
the lungs just have to breathe
the heart just has to pump
the brain just needs to keep
continue thinking
and all the systems will operate
right?

Yet the lungs are often
performing beneath
and the heart is quick
almost to quick
and in the chest
it always aches
as the brain it just keeps
keeps thinking
keeps repeating
keeps reminding me
of all the helpful tips
that have never been a complete solve
because I still question
is it working?

I’m living
therefore pain is a symptom
and the brain is thinking
therefore overwhelmed is a symptom
in which is better than the opposite
if it stopped
I would stop
and I don’t want to
I like to struggle in it
I like to over think it
I hate it
but I need it
and I want it
I want to keep
is that just living
or is that a symptom of being human?

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Fear; an easy advertiser.

Fear is an easy advertiser
a product to sell
to cure a feeling
that cannot be shed
rather bandaged
till it scars.

Fear makes a product
feel as if it is life
and death is without it.

Fear allows the level headed
to be chained
turned into weapons
because fear
is an impulse
that we’re so quick to rid of
but can’t.

Fear isn’t to fear
fear is to embrace
to feel it
to rationalize what is needed
what isn’t
and to be kind
before action
to think
to sort through
then determine
what is right
and what isn’t
without violence.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

You just keep trying to smile.

You are breathing
you know that
because you can see it through the cold
your hands are turning colors
the needles settling in
you know you must be alive
even if you’ve seen yourself buried
a nightmare manifested by the brain
to damper the illness.

Although the illness is make believe
it’s the pressures
that were invented
not a natural manifestation of life
a building of materials
you have to beg for
feeling the pressure
the ills of this humanity.

Your breath is fighting
the air is expelling it
as your brain is convulsing
they look over
you are still as always
standing upright
you begin to move your finger tips
as the needles stab deep
your feet they keep
your brain it’s panicking
it’s feeling
your bodies response
is to keep on smiling
as they say to
even if the frown has molded itself in
and everything is hurting
you just keep trying to smile
as a way to ease the strangers
that pass on by.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina


We are breathing.

I’m yelling
because I’m exhausted
I’m crying
because it all hurts
my brain is overloaded
and my eyes are stinging
from the tears that wallow in
and it’s a shallow pool I’m drowning in
they thoughts they keep on breeding
I’m a failure
it surfaces so often
the feeling of never accomplishing
or never finishing
of being a burden to existence
by never contributing
but the reality is
we are breathing
we are speaking
and every piece we put out
every word we speak
every bit we write
everything we release
be it a few eyes
or billions
we exist
and success
doesn’t have to be dollars
being poor feels as if
I’m only filth
because this place has been created
has been filled of commercial space
and advertisements
buried within our brains so deep
that it becomes difficult
to accept money and success
isn’t the same.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Trying to understand

I feel I’ve lived several deaths
of this mind
as it forgets
as it learns
parts are turned
parts are picked
parts are neglected.

They turn
they rot
and they die off
those deaths they happen often
in this brain of mine
I can see so clearly
feel it so heavily
and then I just don’t
I change it
twist it
the information ingests differently
because as I age parts die off
and my brain it changes
trying to understand it all
and I want to before this age sets in
and everything begins to die again.

Thanks for reading.
Temperamentally Tina