Temperamentally Tina

You just keep trying to smile.

You are breathing
you know that
because you can see it through the cold
your hands are turning colors
the needles settling in
you know you must be alive
even if you’ve seen yourself buried
a nightmare manifested by the brain
to damper the illness.

Although the illness is make believe
it’s the pressures
that were invented
not a natural manifestation of life
a building of materials
you have to beg for
feeling the pressure
the ills of this humanity.

Your breath is fighting
the air is expelling it
as your brain is convulsing
they look over
you are still as always
standing upright
you begin to move your finger tips
as the needles stab deep
your feet they keep
your brain it’s panicking
it’s feeling
your bodies response
is to keep on smiling
as they say to
even if the frown has molded itself in
and everything is hurting
you just keep trying to smile
as a way to ease the strangers
that pass on by.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

We are breathing.

I’m yelling
because I’m exhausted
I’m crying
because it all hurts
my brain is overloaded
and my eyes are stinging
from the tears that wallow in
and it’s a shallow pool I’m drowning in
they thoughts they keep on breeding
I’m a failure
it surfaces so often
the feeling of never accomplishing
or never finishing
of being a burden to existence
by never contributing
but the reality is
we are breathing
we are speaking
and every piece we put out
every word we speak
every bit we write
everything we release
be it a few eyes
or billions
we exist
and success
doesn’t have to be dollars
being poor feels as if
I’m only filth
because this place has been created
has been filled of commercial space
and advertisements
buried within our brains so deep
that it becomes difficult
to accept money and success
isn’t the same.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Trying to understand

I feel I’ve lived several deaths
of this mind
as it forgets
as it learns
parts are turned
parts are picked
parts are neglected.

They turn
they rot
and they die off
those deaths they happen often
in this brain of mine
I can see so clearly
feel it so heavily
and then I just don’t
I change it
twist it
the information ingests differently
because as I age parts die off
and my brain it changes
trying to understand it all
and I want to before this age sets in
and everything begins to die again.

Thanks for reading.
Temperamentally Tina

I see only pieces.

I see this place.

I can’t see all
everything at once
only pieces
although I know of the pain
and the discontent
because I read it
and I can hear
in my head
certain words being spoken.

Although I’m not there
and I can’t be clear
why it happened
or how it happened
reporting what we do
it never is clear is it?

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Fragments

To be lost in the all parts
that are the whole
as it all staggers on top
slipping pieces through
fragments of time
like shards of glass
reflecting what is
what was
what could be
ill is the mind
that sees it
all the times that existed
all the times that haven’t
that has
that will
that could
that might
that is
it is a friction
that heats up in the mind
sparking fires around
trying to cool off the skin
from the flames no one else sees.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Colorful Creature Art

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Nothing but this body.

I will be here
and in my death
I won’t be there
I’ll be the ashes in the air
and not a soul left behind
because I am nothing
but this body you see
burning of this flesh
the ashes swarming
I’ll be everywhere
and nowhere
because I’ll be nothing
as the wind gathers me
whipping me about
my body a dead host
and my brain demolished
I’ll be gone
I will no longer think
no longer stress
no longer try
because as wrong as I am
it won’t matter in the end
and as I right as I want
I’ll only be the words I written
and the words I spoken
and yet I’ll be nothing
but the ashes
entering your lungs
as you struggle to breathe
I will be everywhere
and yet nowhere
because my brain
will be nothing
and my thoughts
will be empty
and I’ll be nothing but ashes.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Unique, the experience of life.

I have a difficult time
being ok with it
with most of it
I wake up
because I’m alive
I’d rather stay asleep
although to stop dreaming
is incomprehensible to my brain
how could I not exist
I wouldn’t know
the brain would stop
and it would all stop?

It’s that idea
that theory
that belief
that when my brain stops sending signals
my hearts stops beating
my lungs stops breathing
it is over
and I have nothing
and I’m nothing
that makes me value life
if I lived
in expectation of death
of the life after this
then I’d neglect
how unique
the experience of life is.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

I just have thoughts.

I don’t want to be crude
I just have thoughts
and I think a lot
and I’m not the type
to enjoy tradition
I just can’t do
simply because people have.

I don’t believe in GOD
and I don’t wan to be blessed
during every transaction
and I don’t want to smile
because it makes you feel comfort
I’m not comfort
my heart is bathing within toxic fluid
and my eyes when they cry
their tears will eat trough like acid.

I can’t follow the rules
my mind stops
it can’t process
what you can
it screams at me
it stops computing
which could be favorable
I don’t join into hazing
or being crude for the fun of
I’m just a bitchy sort
crude in my way
not that mean sort of group
I wouldn’t lead it
I’m mostly just me.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina