Unique, the experience of life.

I have a difficult time
being ok with it
with most of it
I wake up
because I’m alive
I’d rather stay asleep
although to stop dreaming
is incomprehensible to my brain
how could I not exist
I wouldn’t know
the brain would stop
and it would all stop?

It’s that idea
that theory
that belief
that when my brain stops sending signals
my hearts stops beating
my lungs stops breathing
it is over
and I have nothing
and I’m nothing
that makes me value life
if I lived
in expectation of death
of the life after this
then I’d neglect
how unique
the experience of life is.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

I thought it would disappear.

I thought it would disappear
way deep inside me
and at this I’d be different
more comfortable
less in a panic
able to listen in group settings
without my ears over heating
and my brain glitching
only it isn’t
I’m still like this
only now I can accept it
and accept that others
will make judgement
and I can’t stop it
and it’s alright to be misunderstood
because they have the right
to dislike
to be bothered
and I have the right to be this
a person that panics
that shies away from conversation
because I’m talking in my head
uncomfortable to be there
laughing on the inside
as my face is in a frown
it’s just a face
and it’s just a resting place
it’s ok
and if it bothers that’s fine to.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

I just have thoughts.

I don’t want to be crude
I just have thoughts
and I think a lot
and I’m not the type
to enjoy tradition
I just can’t do
simply because people have.

I don’t believe in GOD
and I don’t wan to be blessed
during every transaction
and I don’t want to smile
because it makes you feel comfort
I’m not comfort
my heart is bathing within toxic fluid
and my eyes when they cry
their tears will eat trough like acid.

I can’t follow the rules
my mind stops
it can’t process
what you can
it screams at me
it stops computing
which could be favorable
I don’t join into hazing
or being crude for the fun of
I’m just a bitchy sort
crude in my way
not that mean sort of group
I wouldn’t lead it
I’m mostly just me.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina



Intelligence

Intelligence is the ability
to eat knowledge
digesting it
and storing it
within the brain.

Each bite you take
the body breaks down
sending the nutrition
straight to the boss
and that boss
helpless as it is
confined in its boned cage
it isn’t aware of poison
even if it is
it struggles to rid of it.

All the knowledge seeps
with all the opinions
and all the facts
that are switched
laced of statistics
that are formulated
to make the little brain of ours
a little bit more compatible
a little better at listening
of conforming
of buying the product
with all the products made
there must be a consumer
otherwise it’d all waste
and it’d be our faults no theirs.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

I’ll write it.

I’ll write it
because if I speak it
I’ll forget it
I’ll twist it
I’ll ignore you
because I’ll be worried
you won’t hear me
I’ll speak over
I’ll speak louder
so I’d rather write it down
I’m frustrated always
and it’s not you
it’s just my mind
the way it thinks
I can’t leave it behind
these things of me
I can’t just smile
I can’t just laugh
if the whole world is falling
I can’t just jump out of it
I’m in it
and my mind it smashes with it
and these things inside me
they hurt
swimming about
I feel it
gnawing at my mind
the curiosities
and there are days I feel
if I listen
if i sit quietly enough
they’ll tell me
what I need to hear
and then there are other days I talk so loudly
talking over it
because I don’t want to feel it
to feel the frustration
to feel the confusion
to feel every new opinion
and just be saddled by guilt
I hate it
like a wad of gum
sticking my feet to the floor
I just want everything
to swallow it down
because it overwhelms
it is
this mind of mine
of everything
all of it
it is humanity
it is pain that lives.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

There is a heart it beats.

There is a heart
it beats
and pushes
it does its work
forced by the boss
that is often over thought
compressed within a prison of bone
it hurts as it expands
it can’t
taking in information
it rids of it
words shredded
as others retained
the truth isn’t
because the brain
it takes in
and lets out
retaining everything
would explode it
trying to remember an old face
accelerating the age
it can’t compute properly
and the heart
it feels what the brain does
quicker it works
skip once
another beat
it’ll keep at it
it must
it has work to do
and friends to keep up
the lungs take in breath
it hurts
the brain says it hurts
it hurts to breathe
it hurts to beat
it just hurts
everything does now
to keep computing
managing everything
hurts.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

There is no point.

There is no point
there are only lines
off in all directions
you an step a foot off
and keep on walking
never hitting a point
in which an answer is given
that’ll explain all this
the reason for your thoughts
the reason that it all exists
it just does
could that be
and there is no point
it’ll all come to a death
and parts wont
which it’ll never really end
and each thought
will just mix with others
spreading throughout
without coming to a completion
to a final point
because maybe there isn’t one?

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

These two eyes.

Two feet upon a rock
in which these two eyes
cannot see all at once
just a small part of rock
and looking up there is sky
and looking down there is grass.

I see human touch
roads paved in cement
houses leaking heat
feeling claustrophobic
confined here
confined by laws
confined by human touch
confined by human need
confined by human greed.

I feel small
because I am
in the essence of life
I am no more than a speck of it
and I feel trapped on this rock
trapped within this human torment
trapped within decades of guilt
of my mind compressed
zipped and tied.

These human words
these human thoughts
I feel confined by it
trapped within it
within feelings
within feeling failure
which is a human word
that I cannot forget.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

I want to know life.

I want to know it
I want to understand it
I want to explain it
I want to know life
and I want to know death
not the interpretation of it
not the idea
not in theory
I want to know it
to understand it
to have a tangible thought
not a billion of words
that make up theories
no I want to know it
to understand it
to be a part of it
to grasp in this mind
everything that is
and everything that isn’t
everything in speckles of light
everything that is anything
and that is nothing
I want to understand it
to see it
to touch it
even if it is untouchable
I want to understand it
to know it
to know the answers
even if it isn’t anything
even if reality isn’t
or it is
or if this waking life I’m living
is the sleeping life of the real life form
that is of reality
and this day that I’m living
is really the dream
I’d want to know it
I’d want to speak to it
even if their words are opinions
and their facts are empty
because they are just me
and as confused in all this
as I am myself
I need to know
I want to know
to understand
what my mind is missing
the words that haven’t been created
because the human mind
is still evolving
still turning
still trying
and I’d like to know it
as the universe itself
is craving it.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina

Dimensional, it a sphere.

There is a circle
dimensional
it is a sphere
afloat out there
other bodies drifted
their hearts haven’t came in
the sun hasn’t reached
hasn’t brought warmth
and the life isn’t.

That sphere out there
living in life
striving as it falls
as it misses
and the minds upon it
are thinking
how do we escape it?

Could they bring closer
the other rocks
chisel them with machines
would our minds
destroy that of what we created
probably
maybe not
I don’t know.

Here on this sphere
we fight for life to be born
we beg for each to get a breath
and when their minds are hurt
and their thoughts are billions
and they can’t center
and they can’t focus
we pop the pills
we scream to surrender
and we miss all their warnings
because once a life is produced
it’s for itself to tend to.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina