I will focus on now.

I can’t believe
I can’t put my thoughts
my love
my life
in a box
packaged for the end
taking out
and burning all the parts
that aren’t acceptable
I will not
worry about after
I will focus on now
and now
I know I can’t bow
to any of these leaders
I cannot give myself
even to the smallest
I’ve never been one
to stop and listen
to the words of authority
napping in class
drool in my hair
I’ve never been able
to want
to take in
to be what I was taught
and now
it’s so messy
there’s just everybody
throwing out their words
and their codes
and their morals
and honestly
for me I don’t want it
I want to laugh
at morbid jokes
I want to laugh
and not be left hating myself
I want to write
and not be left
deleting the words
because they’re insensitive
I want to write
I want to laugh again
I don’t want to bow down
I don’t want to lay low
I want to fight
through the writers block
through the pain in my fingers
and I want to write
and I want to bring the laughter back
I want this world
to not be so critical
to realize we only hurt
if we ourselves hurt
comedy is laughter
lets laugh again
save the correctness
for true conversation
and legislation
lets laugh again
lets stop crawling upon the floors
because we’re ashamed
lets all laugh together
and accept
if you stopped hating yourself
you would laugh more
because it’s ourselves
that determine our reactions
and our confidence
that allows us to laugh
and it’s our low self worth
that is a bullies greatest weapon.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina