I don’t want to be in debt to this.

I don’t want to be in debt to thisto a thoughtto a territorial institution to an idea of Countryto an idea of people. I must work to pay out for waterfor foodfor electricity for heatfor shelterupon land that once was finder keepersthen claim for the slaughternow we think we have it rightpaying for parcels ofContinue reading “I don’t want to be in debt to this.”

This human thing is killing me.

I just feellike to much is in my headand I can’t cry it all outand I don’t feel like being this human thing that I am I feel it’s disgusting a monstrous condition to be. I’m always thinking of how to be politeof how to be safeof how not to fuck upand I’m always failingContinue reading “This human thing is killing me.”

Is this reality?

Is this reality or is this the fictionalized realmthat we’ve projected in our deaths? A collective unitlives playing on screens and the thoughts we think they’re that of everything that’s why I worry that’s why we go insane because that is sanity realizing reality isn’t this. I spent every thought trying to understand everything tryingContinue reading “Is this reality?”

I can’t be this environment.

I can’t be this environmentI can’ttake off my skin and let the soul be freeto meet its placeabove in paradise or below in an eternity of torture I can’t be just another name to be praised I’m notI’ve never been the kindness person the prettiest person the perfect person I’m not I haven’t beenand IContinue reading “I can’t be this environment.”

I can’t keep awake.

I can’t keep awakeand when I am I can’t keep my mind in placeit runs fastand it stops my ears from listening because the thoughts it thinksare quickand rarely stopping. When I’m asleepit stays busycreating dreamsplaying beneath my eyelidsand I can’t stay wakecan’t keep myself thinking with purposerather my brain changes the thoughtand writes outContinue reading “I can’t keep awake.”

There isn’t my best.

There isn’t my bestthere is just a portion that triesa part that keeps doing thingskeeps waking in the morningkeeps forcing me to sleep keeps forcing me to eatthere isn’t my bestjust a portion that tries. A portion that combines wordshit up against the other portion that hates structurethat hates authoritythat hates any that tells meContinue reading “There isn’t my best.”

My brain is drowning.

My brain is drowning within this age of knowledgethe information is pulling itweighting it down it cannot come up it’s forgetting the automatic tasksbreathe it tells the lungsit had forgotten. Opinions are spitting aboutand the facts can’t counter enough blocking a few particlesas the others entermy brain is drowning within all the saliva flinging fromContinue reading “My brain is drowning.”