I had never been inclined to such things as a diamond ring.

I think of all the faces that reside within the past
all the shadows that have been cast
opportunities I’m glad I passed.

Yet I wonder
does their minds ponder
my existence
was I simply to close to their fence
and now I’m forgotten?

The one I loved, love  is the one I married
all the burdens he’s carried
I had never been inclined to such things as a diamond ring
I sold myself out and taken his name for it was always more than a fling
and he allows me to forgo the constructs of tethers
that otherwise restrict the circulation of my fingers
and he never shames me for my reclusive nature.

All the others despised my snide behavior
mostly I’m just shy, I’m certainly not a savior
nor would I be cast as the villain on a larger screen
I’m the side note of a story that’s mildly obscene.

I’ve never been the glow of the room
always darting for the door in a mood of gloom
my thoughts of a mild percent
I once was compared to the looks of a rodent
mostly I’m ok that I’m not a beloved member of society.

I live for my children
my family my husband everything else feels foreign
this place that evolves
feels broken with little resolve
and my want to fix it stems from the mother in me.

Truthfully when I think of the faces of the past
it was always in this ill fitted cast
wanting to flaunt a mirage that would send them flailing
smiling as they saw me prevailing
and now I feel satisfied
there is no shame nothing to hide
my house is shit
but my body is fit
and if they looked down on my life
I’d be proud because I’m not the type to live within all that hype
designer labels isn’t who I inspire to be. 

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina