Thinking is painful.

Thinking is painful
my head is weighted
with all the worries
and my body is feeling it
the pain of understanding
the pain of obligations
the pain of the human condition.

I think in webs of frustration
navigating through thoughts
stopping
it isn’t blank
although the thought is worthless
because it doesn’t pay the bills
the words don’t change the world
the thoughts can’t defund the wealthy
I am just here.

If I was stranded on an island
I’d starve
aware of the ability
to catch a fish
to filter water
to survive
yet stranded I’d be.

I’ve been trained
to sleep upon a bed
to shop the grocery store
to eat fruits already picked
to run water out of a faucet.

I’d lay down in the sand
fighting through the withdrawal
of this modern convenience
that strips me of sanity
of patience
of the ability of living
within it all
and I’d die
because I never learned what real is.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina