For now I’ll keep them home.

All these feelings
all the time
all these thoughts
they just keep coming!

My brain is filling
and my lungs can’t filter out
all the water
my eyes are forming
that my skin is taking back in
through the pores.

I just can’t stop it all.

I can’t control you
I can’t control me
I can’t control them.

I’m terrified
if I let you run
they’ll snatch you
take you
force you in servitude
the drugs filling your blood.

All these fears
flowing out
and all the laws
that protect what cannot breathe alone.

Where are the rules
that keep the living safe
those outside the womb?

I cannot stop the violence out there
but here in our home
it isn’t
because pain isn’t
a way to negotiate.

Out there I’m terrified
opening the door
what will it bring
out there
off to school they go
will they come home?

Back in they’re coughing
what will happen next
will their lungs collapse?

There are no answers
till the fear becomes the truth
and I’m not willing
to barter with their lives
so for now
I’ll keep them home.

Thanks for reading.
-Temperamentally Tina.